I Don't Mind It

Leave it or Stay with that​

A year passed and another one come several days ago, when I think everything is going to be well in early of this month after long hurdle in the last December (both from job and vacation), it doesn’t. My lecturer said that I need to take supplementary class exam because I often skip classes, which I already told the reason that I can’t attend his to front-office staff, the exam doesn’t take 3-4 days, but one week till this last Monday. My ‘not so well’ days getting more troublesome after 2 of 9 division mate taking another break after New Year ends, leaving us clueless when my boss give us another January ‘special’ task. Why don’t he give that project to the other division, instead us which actually do the presentation rather than planning something big. Ah… my mind gonna be exploded soon when I can’t take it all. After writing some word above, I remember someone’s words before, “leave it or stay with that”. Yes, that one is more suitable about my condition right now; leave it, in other words tell the boss that my division isn’t ready for that one (of course, we will face it’s consequence) or stay with that by keep doing our best while waiting the other 2 comeback from their absence. The word “LEAVE IT” contains some headache to me. First, I am afraid I can’t give good excuse to deny or reject that project because those one is January main task and as co-lead my task is to handle any kind of project when my leader is inactive state. Second, it’s doesn’t matter to the other 7 but highups may think other, I don’t good enough to receive scholarship from company (but still I need to asked them about it). Third, I wouldn’t have experience from that project (which this one is really new to me). Do I need to ask my team which they are ready or not about this one before two-weeks deadline comes; or ask highups about some help? I need courage, but it seems less shown nowadays, I don’t know where I can find that ‘courage’ since everyone isn’t same like before, as people change by mother nature of time. Do I lazy to search those people who willingly to share or swap words each other, or it just me whom nerd about that things. Will I be able to find the answers by myself, or you whose read this help me just little ? I know I able to do that, but I need time. Let’s override those words above with something interesting which come in last December before New Year, it’s about dating news 2 members of my idol girl-group “Girls’ Generation”, first from Im Yoona and second from Choi Sooyoung, I don’t find any good resource from Yoona’s one and for Sooyoung I think I already know about that since from one variety show before (maybe around her 2nd drama). But, I won't talk about people relationship, since I respect her/ their personal life, and i don't mind about that's all. I just want to keep support them (it's better to me to hear good news from her rather than talking the bad one, i just wishing she will happy with hers). The reason I write down this one here is why people down hearing those news, for SONE who dedicated their heart to support SoShi whatever they do, whoever they with, whenever they are; for fanfiction writer who write fanstory about them, and for everyone who admire them somewhere else. I know, so much love gonna be boomerang of hatred for hardcore SONEs, going to be antis or whatever they called but I don’t know if they can separate that or not. I just want to tell that if they are happy then we should be happy for them too right? They are human too, the differences between us with them is, they are public figures and whereas we are not. So leave it be, if you can’t agree with me then it’s up to you, leave it or stay as SONE. Our heart maybe broken, but those will be patched up as time goes by. You are the one who can find the answer yourself. Let’s get a life together, for good tomorrow pals. n3rdfl0v3;​

 

Random: Memento​

I don't know if today is the first day of "Prepekan Mulud" in my parents place, or i recall it was me who never visit theirs in this such moment. Going to the traditional market, accompanying my mother for tomorrow night, buying some stuffs and the other, maybe this one good for me since tomorrow morning i must go back to Malang, back to my working life after yesterday went to Pasuruan just for taking my little free time for attending annual ceremonial of 'someone' whose spiritually blessed for people who know him in this area. Things i learnt from that place is to keep remember Allah SWT is always watching our movement, even in our slightest moment; because we don't know how long we will last in this Earth. I believe that since i ever see someone who was healthier than mine before leaving this world forever after taking bath (before that we just chat), it's my Grandpa. Still i can't forget that him, because he's the one who raise me until elementary school. It's so fortunate for us, who still have time in this world, breathing and see what happen in tomorrow. I'd like to see tomorrow, moving forward while taking memento from past for better days. A gift from someone whose i will never see him again, just remembering those good days sometimes let my mood boosted. Like now, when i write this post, ready to prepare about day after today.​ Frankly already i got chance to replenish my stress state in work, since tomorrow the other 2 will coming back from their absence. It will (should) be more easier since 9 is more than 7, and i can focus on my own task in my team so no more worries later. Back to my own place, i keep thinking why people so happy when this time coming. I know they are happy because they will celebrate memorial day of birth Rasulullah SAW, and again, curiousity about the other things as human being always comes up on me. Haha, i don't know what i am talking right now, and i need answer for that. Since people have different perspective, like someone who study in religion school or public school. And why people from countryside come to the city, booking a car then goes to central park, even that day is raining. Ah... too many question in my head, please please let my finger just press keyboard and no more thinking in my head, just want to write what i want to write about yesterday and today && I wish everyone happy for this moment, because it's only once per year and it would be bad if it's missed Too tired to keep typing this night, gotta take some rest before packing for tomorrow. Have a nice tight night everyone. n3rdfl0v3;​

 

Games #1​

Reminiscing my several days ago, in a day after new year pass by in my table calendar. Saving up my little time just to refresh forum for event since someone told me before this month (January) will be first anniversary of something so they will make mini-game and yeah, a week passed but still no information about that even from that friend, and when i just off because daily need (as a guy who shouldn't miss his time in Friday noon) they announce that mini-game. Haha, what i think in that time is, why nobody doesn't tag me (err... who are you nerd? do you so important so that i must tag you in there? ) funny, that's what i think before, blaming the others, blaming myself why can't stay more in front of pc so that i can posting about join that game. But i know, that's not my time to play that game, maybe God give me chance to do something else in those time rather than playing (perhaps so...). I make myself busy so i can forget it and perhaps it's worked. Or it's because i will make my own mini-game so i must not looking for others, just focus on mine, and the last one i don't bother about that anymore, there are still somebody tag me in game even i don't have mood to play (or my limited time in this month), sorry for you i can't join that even i want to, but i won't do that since it will make the others plan crumble, see ya next time. Playing games; will make anyone who plays that happy or sometimes unhappy, that's the law of win or lose works, even sometimes draw can shown up but it's still i can see that small chance. and mostly of them will give me experience, either bitter or good, so i can learn what should i do next I don't know since when i am so addicted to playing games, even just playing scramble word with the others. I just recall.. Playing games; perhaps is my way to get rid of fatigue or stress from work or else. Playing games; is my another place which i can stay there doing everything i want (though it's impossible to do in real one) whether other say playing will not doing any good, it's true.. but if you can differentiate that's all, like separating which one is important compared to other, in your daily life. i know it sucks, for people who just playing game and not seeing his surround; like there's no tomorrow just his and game. But when you can separate those for your own sake's of time, for game, friend, family, and the other, me seems it's the best way to reduce stress in your head. Don't doubt that, just try and you may answer for yourself (even you are not good in playing games) Don't you know about getting stuck in someone or broken-hearted by someone, which called game of love Or else, which there are people who dream about tomorrow but not doing anything; and the others just doing their time for their sake rather than dream about none, called as game of life Or, just simple game... which usually people do, like mobile-phone games, pc games, etc There are still a lot of game i can't tell it all one by one, just giving most example for it Sorry if i'm rude calling those game, i know i'm not good enoughplaying word in English one; the reason i write (short) diary here is just for preparing myself, before something happen, i don't know i will be able to bat the ball or get beaten by that ball later... just practising my Eng like usual; like playing word of games. And game will never end, until you stop breathing, or find something else make your day better. n3rdfl0v3;​